Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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