Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
