found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
