Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
