well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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