Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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