brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
