I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
