Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You dont lie about slip and slides
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
