did you get engaged???
worst night to have a conscience
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
