i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Dear god my vagina.
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