he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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