glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
