Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
