the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
