are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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