Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
