i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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