I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
