Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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