He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
