I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
