Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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