The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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