The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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