Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
