around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont even know how to be here
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
