New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
