How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My ass is underappreciated
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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