I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
