how can u be prego again
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
