don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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