My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize