and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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