i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
