We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
