Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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