he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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