I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
