Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
