nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
