so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
