so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
