two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
