people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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