So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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