Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
