Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
