Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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