oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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