Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
